Starts with a “P,” rhymes with “Venus” — Take Two
March 22, 2010 by Shannon
Back in June, I told you how I got no say in how we were going to refer to private parts in our household (Starts with a “P,” rhymes with “Venus”). I would have preferred that Kellan start calling it a “pee pee” or something innocuous like that. Well now….now the day has come that he is starting to refer to his penis in public. In the locker room with his preschool class, no less. I’m pretty sure I’m turning several shades of red just typing this.
So as I’ve mentioned before, Kellan goes to swimming lessons with his entire preschool class every Tuesday morning. This includes boys and girls. After the lesson, the class and teachers go into a locker room to change into their dry clothes. After last week’s swim class, I got the following email from one of Kellan’s teachers, who recounted a conversation that happened in the locker room:
Kellan wanted to know why someone’s penis was broken. I told him it wasn’t broken, but that not all penises look the same. A little girl in the class piped in that she didn’t have a penis, but had a vagina. Well, that really threw Kellan. He started looking around and then asked, “How do girls go to the bathroom without a penis?” (I have to say, it was so hard not to laugh through all of this). I told him that girls don’t need a penis to go to the bathroom. Then {the other teacher, name withheld} told him that he should ask you about all of this. It was so darn cute!
And now, drumroll please, my three year old knows the words “penis” AND “vagina!” Please, Planet Earth, go ahead and open up and swallow me whole right now because I just know he’s going to blurt these words out inappropriately in public sometime soon and all eyes will turn on me. The person who had nothing to do with teaching him either word. And believe me, Kellan’s been plenty curious about how the baby’s going to get out of my stomach, so I’ve been very careful to give him an explanation that will satisfy his curiosity without me having to get into the gory details of childbirth. I’ve worked hard to avoid the “V” word, dammit! Should we just go ahead and get the whole “birds and bees” talk out of the way now before someone else beats me to that discussion too?
Clarification: I have no problem with the words penis or vagina. They are perfectly fine as far as words for private parts go. I just have an issue with my three-year-old knowing all about them. That is all. Thank you.
Comments (7)
Lucy was about that same age when I was pregnant with Alice. She was very concerned that the baby would just bust through my belly, leaving me bleeding and needing “a really big bandaid.” While I explained that indeed, some babies do come out of their mama’s bellies, mine would not. We tried to explain it, but here’s the version she shared at preschool, with everyone and their parents: “My baby sister lives in my mama’s belly. When she’s ready to come out, she’ll wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, then slide down my mama’s leg and pop out her ‘gina.” More recently we’ve gotten into discussions about how baby Alice got in my belly in the first place. I told her that they both lived in my heart, and daddy’s heart, until it was time to grow them. Then they “wiggled down to my belly.” Whatever works, am I right?
Well, from a teacher’s point of view, I’m glad he knows both words. And honestly, this next thing is going to sound scary and horrible, but it’s worth considering.
If anything, heaven forbid, ever happen to my daughter and she needed to explain it to an adult, I would be relieved that she could use the word. In my opinion, being honest and real about what your parts are can sometimes save you down the road from trying to explain why in your family a vagina is called a “secret garden” where only one boy “has the key.” (This was actually an explanation a very forthcoming three year old gave me once while I taught preschool.)
It sounds so scary to think about. But I want my children to be able to explain themselves if need be.
And.. interestingly enough, when I first typed this comment with the words in it.. it wouldn’t let me submit it. Says “seems a bit spammy.” HAHAHA
I know it’s embarrassing and tough for some people but I just don’t understand the discomfort. I’m glad that both of my sons know the proper names for their parts and for girl parts and can talk about them comfortably. I think the “birds and the bees” talk should be an ongoing discussion throughout the child’s life. It can be uncomfortable for us to think of our children as sexual beings but they will very soon be that and they need to be prepared to handle it.
You’re a mommy, Shannon. Congratulations.
I think I might turn a few shades of red in your situation! Just keep your head held high and enjoy every beautiful, hilarious moment.
My 3 year old daughter knows both words, and I was the one who taught her. I couldn’t think of any reason not to teach her the “real” words. She can give quite the descriptive speech about how poop comes down, down, down from “behind the ‘gina.” So funny! The best part was the first time each grandma heard her say the word. Their mouths completely dropped open, and I cracked up laughing. My daughter also regularly uses the proper term, “wedgie.”
Hilarious - love the note from the teacher. I don’t blame you for being freaked out. I would be too!
This post cracked me up! But as I read the discussion, and started realizing all the teaching/explaining I am going to have to do myself, I could feel my neck tightening up! I just want to make sure my little one can understand it all, be able to discuss ANYTHING with me, and still have some fun with it too!
Thanks for sharing, that was so cute!!