My working mom flashback
February 16, 2010 by Shannon
Note: This post was originally written last week, but I couldn’t even find the time to post it. Sad. Well, at least it’s here now for your enjoyment.
Now I’m starting to remember how I felt when I was working. Mind you, I’m only working 20 hours a week right now. So I really can’t complain because there are PLENTY of working moms who balance it all and still manage to stay sane and wear matching socks on a daily basis.
But here’s what just hit me: this week I am responsible for bringing a well-balanced and hearty snack to Kellan’s preschool class AND I have volunteered to bake something for the annual bake sale as well. I have also realized that Kellan will need a clean pair of swim trunks to wear to Swim Day at preschool, and I’m not sure where either pair is at the moment. In fact, I’m sure they are both wet and very NOT clean. So I should probably do laundry. And don’t even get me started about all the extra time I’m having to put into hairstyling lately. Usually, it’s all about the wash-and-go ‘do for me. I don’t even use a blow dryer anymore. But that routine doesn’t cut it when you have to look somewhat polished for TV every night.
Let’s face it. Working and mothering is hard. Really hard. Of course, I knew this all too well back when I was getting a steady paycheck from the station, but I quickly forgot just how tough it was once my schedule lightened up. Now, I’m hearing something in my voice that I haven’t heard in months. Rushed desperation. It’s the unmistakable urgency that tinges my words when I’m urging Kellan to put down the Duplo blocks, find his other sock and get his shoes on so Mommy can get to work on time. All the italics and bold fonts in the world could not properly convey this desperation in print. Getting a nearly three-year-old to get a move on is, without a doubt, like herding cats.
I am thrilled about my current opportunity to return to the job I loved so much. But I will be quite happy to go back to my “normal” life when it’s over. (How weird. It’s now normal for me to NOT work. Wow.) If there is one thing I’ve come to value during this whole working mom to stay-at-home mom transition, it is time. Time to breathe. Time to fold an entire load of laundry in one sitting. Time to stop what I’m doing and read books with my boy. Time to stop at the park on the way home from the grocery store just because. I know this is a luxury many working moms don’t have. Believe me, some days of stay-at-home momming have me staring the clock down, willing it to magically skip a few hours to bedtime, but I have now come to value the gift of time. It affords me something I’ve always wanted as a person, and even more so now that I am a mother: BALANCE. And for me, the proper balance right now has to be less on the work side of the scale and more on the mom side.
But for now, I gotta go find those swim trunks and do some bake sale prep before work. Let’s hope Kellan can find his socks.
Comments (4)
It is impossible to do it all. It’s just not possible! The work-life-motherhood balance doesn’t exist. There will always be laundry to do, stuff to find, things to bake, and work to get done. It sucks! I’m sorry. I am not helping at all!!! I go through this every day, too, and I have a lot of help. SIGH. We do need more time, huh? This is why I’m up until 1 a.m. every night!
You’re right, Loukia! It doesn’t exist. I’ve been fortunate to be home for more than two years, and now I’m close to going back to school and landing part-time work, and I don’t think I can do it. Certainly not with my husband’s demanding work schedule, which was one big factor in my leaving full-time work in the first place. I’ve truly been trying to figure this out for two years, and I’m just paralyzed with fear of ending up right back where I started. Rushed desperation is exactly the right description of it! I can’t breathe already.
“Herding cats” = exactly. I know exactly the feeling of rushed desperation you mean. It’s impossible to hurry a preschooler. You COULD start an hour earlier, but even so, something would come up at the last minute & make you late. (A hole in the sock? Back to square one!) Just like all those obligations & chores you mentioned seem to converge on the same week. I don’t know why that is, but it always seems to happen that way.
I’ve found a way to manage being full time in the work world and a full time mother of two…… I just can never stop moving. If I stop moving I pass out and fall into a coma for a couple hours and then I have chaos. But if I keep moving I can get a pretty good groove going, get dinner on the table, kids bathed and ready for bed and in bed at a decent hour. Then when they’re down I can fold laundry, clean my bathroom and maybe if I’m lucky fall asleep while watching a movie with my hubby. Well my two minutes are up, gotta run!