AnchorMommy

Grocery store greetings

January 12, 2010 by Shannon

I hate grocery shopping. I really, really hate it. I try not to use the word hate, but when it comes to a certain football team I loathe and the weekly task of grocery shopping, I just can’t help it.

Because it is my grocery mission to get in and out ASAP, I’m not quite sure how I feel about Kellan’s new way to pass the time in the cart. It is his goal to befriend everyone he sees. And when I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE. The checkout clerks. The elderly women in scooter carts. The produce section clerks. The pharmacy workers. The moms with kids hanging off their elbows. The kids hanging from elbows. EVERYONE.

It’s as if he’s accepted some sort of dare to be over-the-top friendly.  He’ll set his sights on someone across the aisle and stare at them until they make eye contact. When they do, Kellan gives the person a giddy wave and an exuberant “HI!” If they are walking slowly enough, Kellan will try to start up a conversation. “Hi! What’s your name? I’m Kellan!” If the greeting gets to this point, I usually have to stop and put on my toddlerese translator hat. Nine times out of ten, the person will look confused and say something like, “Your name is Kevin?” Or, “Callen?” or “Evan?” Please tell me that this is because people just don’t understand him. I don’t want people to mistake him for a Kevin all his life. (I’m sorry if that offends any Kevins out there.)

I think it’s cute that he makes people smile, and one time a woman even remarked that meeting him made her day. Sweet, right?

Yeah, not when I’m in a crowded aisle fighting to get my hands on a couple cans of diced tomatoes. Or worse, when I’m in a public restroom. I am learning first hand how unwilling people are to make new friends in a public bathroom. However, I think Michael has the worse end of the deal. I hear Kellan is quite friendly in a men’s bathroom, and doesn’t understand why the men coming in and out of the restroom don’t stop to chat with him. How do you explain that to a two year-old? “Sorry honey, grownups don’t talk at urinals.”