Kellan took his time coming into this world. Even the doctor thought he’d be born on or around his due date of February 27, but Kellan had other ideas. I had to be medically induced into labor by the time Kellan was two weeks late. The labor was long (and I will forever be grateful for the invention of the epidural) and by the time it was done, we were entirely exhausted but thrilled beyond words.

From the start, Kellan has always wanted to be close to people. As a newborn, he would not let me put him down for more than a few minutes at a time. I quickly learned to do everything with only one hand, and as soon as we got a baby sling, we were both a lot happier. He could be near me every single second, and I could have the luxury of using both of my hands.

Kellan smiled early, and that first smile was the most charming and beguiling thing I have ever seen. He was a sweet baby, but just like his mama, when he wanted or needed something, he needed it THAT VERY SECOND. I responded quickly to his every cry and whimper because I couldn’t bear to hear him upset.

As he grew, Kellan became more and more communicative. He quickly caught the hang of sign language, and we were happy to have an easy way to “talk” with him. Once he started speaking, we could barely keep track of all the words he could say. The talking hasn’t stopped since. Now, his questions are frequent and often ridiculous, but I remind myself that he’s just a curious kid who wants to know how things work and why people act they way they do.

Kellan is quick to sympathize when someone is sad, and he loves to make people laugh. He adores his friends and family, and makes new friends easily. In fact, he’s such a people person that he really has no idea what the meaning of “personal space” is. He often gets in someone’s “bubble” simply because he really wants to get his message across and make sure he’s heard.

Kellan loves music, musical instruments and musicals. When he’s not talking, he’s singing or asking me to put on his favorite musical, The Sound of Music. He loves books, and would check out 50 or 60 at a time during each library visit if I’d let him.

Kellan has helped me to see the world in a different way and delight in the little things — from pinecones and squirrels in the backyard to the simple joys of mac n’ cheese and a glass of chocolate milk. He is both a challenge and a joy — the source of endless laughter and happiness in our family. I know he will only continue to amaze us as he grows up and takes on the important job of Big Brother.

I love you, Kellan.

Happy Birthday!!!

I was fully prepared to have another boy. In fact, I was kind of looking forward to it. My husband and his brother have lots of crazy childhood stories, and I thought it would be great to have two boys with a relationship like theirs. Maybe with fewer “I’m going to tie my little brother to this pole and leave him there” incidents, but nonetheless, I thought it would be cool.

Now, we’re entering an entirely new world. A world of magical fairies, princesses, pink and ruffles. A world where Dora the Explorer and Strawberry Shortcake rule the day.

I can’t believe it. A girl.

During the scan, the ultrasound tech put little arrows pointing toward the “evidence” before she even revealed her conclusion, but the second we saw those arrows, Michael and I knew. Still, I didn’t want to believe it until I heard her say the words. And as soon as she did, I burst into tears — tears of shock that she actually said the word GIRL. I guess I really was secretly hoping for one.

Soon I’ll be able to say that I have two kids — the thought of which I’m still getting used to — and I can’t believe I’ll be able to say I have a son AND a daughter! A daughter. Wow. Guess it’s time to dig out my old dolls! Squeeeeee!

I’ve been selected to participate in a gallery exhibition over the course of the next six weeks called “Visible M(Others): Images of Parenting in Visual Culture.” The show runs March 4 - April 5, 2010 at the Boise State University Student Union Gallery and is free to the public (go see it!). I’m collaborating with Amy Pence-Brown over at Doin’ It All, Idaho Style. We’ll both be writing new posts on Thursday of each week for the six weeks of the exhibition, exploring ideas of how our “mommyblogs” are a sort of “digital front porch swing,” a place to share information and be heard, a forum for asking questions, showing off our kids and our skills. Mommyblogs act not only as an informational outlet, but a creative force in our contemporary maternal visual culture, as the blogs are loaded with not only verbal creativity, but also photography, crafts, and other digital imagery documenting our lives as mothers. Provoking complex questions, the exhibition presents new perspectives on traditional, contemporary, alternative or imagined parenting and how they operate in a visible/invisible landscape of maternal visual culture.

WAHM. Have you ever said the word out loud? Go ahead! Try it. Sounds weird, right? It’s even weirder to think of it as your job title. But that’s me — Shannon Paterson, Work-At-Home Mom. For some reason, I’m tempted to give the word a little Emeril Lagasse flair when I say it. Shannon Paterson, WAHM! (I guess his signature saying is BAM, which would make WAHM sound more like WHAM, but you get the idea.)

I never really wanted wanted this title. I desperately wanted to be one of those women — the ones who have the magical balance known as “having it all.” I wanted the professional career AND the title of Mommy. But for me, at least, it became clear that having it all required me to place both feet firmly on the brink of insanity. Sure, I looked like I was in control. At least I think I did. But on the inside, my stress level was skyrocketing.

Having it all means having more to balance. And the more you have to balance, the more thinly stretched you become. So when my professional life became more demanding, I knew something had to give. So I walked away from the only thing I could: my career. Suddenly, instead of being the woman trying to have it all, I became the woman trying to become a WAHM. I needed something to keep me connected to the world outside my front door, because as much as I love my son, I knew I’d find a whole new kind of insanity if all I did was build block towers and sing the ABC’s all day long. And I soon found out that the WAHM thing is a whole new ball game.

Besides this blog, I also write for a local publication called Meridian Living. This requires interviews — lots of interviews either in person or over the phone — and a whole new balancing act begins. I schedule phone interviews while my boy is sleeping. I call in favors with his grandparents, and ask them to watch Kellan while I go to meet an interviewee over coffee. I type furiously while he’s napping or in bed for the night. I even haul Kellan along with me to magazine planning meetings.

And oh, the planning meetings. The staff is all women, many of them mothers themselves, so it’s a kid-friendly bunch. Not to mention the fact that the editor and publisher also has a little boy. So our kids play, or rather, look at each other suspiciously as they select various toys with with to entertain themselves, while the rest of us plan away. But there are always the interruptions:

“Oh! I love that idea! In fact, I have the perfect person we could talk to. Her name is…just a minute.  (whispering) What? What Kellan? You want to color now? Okay, here. Here you go. Just sit there and color quietly so Mommy can talk. What was I saying? Oh yeah. So the person I’m thinking of is… What now, Kellan? Yes. Yes that crayon works just fine, white just doesn’t show up on white paper. Use the red one. So anyway, this person has a great perspective on the issue and would be really interesting to talk to…  You have to go pee? Okay, come on. The bathroom is this way. (sheepishly) I’ll be right back.”

Like I said, these women are very forgiving. And being a writer definitely offers me a fair amount of freedom when it comes to working at home. But even though I can go to my “office” in pajamas and slippers, I can’t always accomplish everything I hope to in a day. I can’t slip out on my lunch break to grab a coffee and do a little shopping. My work responsibilities constantly clash and collide.

This dichotomy between working mom and work-at-home mom is even more clear to me now, as I wrap up a six week stint back at my former job. It’s just part time — 20 hours a week — but it’s a schedule that requires late nights — not always easy for a mom raising a preschooler and expecting a baby. My schedule is packed from the second I wake up each day, until I hit the pillow again around midnight. It’s rough. On the plus side, I get to spend a whole day with my boy. The trade-off is, I’m not around for dinner or Kellan’s bathtime/bedtime. Another pro: since I work 6-10 p.m. instead of my old 2-10 p.m. schedule, I can let Kellan’s day play out naturally. I used to have to cram my time with him into those precious few hours between his 8 a.m. wakeup and his 11:30 a.m. nap, because right after naptime I had to rush him off to daycare.

So I’ve been on both sides of the fence now. I’ve been the mom who works outside the home, and I’ve been the WAHM. Sometimes, when I’m between deadlines, I’m more of a straight-up SAHM. And when it comes down to it, I will take the crazy juggling act that is WAHM life any day. Any. Day. Because even if I have to hide in the closet to make a professional phone call now and then, and even if I have to ask childcare favors of grandparents and the occasional friend, I have a pretty good work arrangement. In my book, a good schedule is one in which you get daily hugs and kisses and the ability to eat popsicles in the middle of the day. That’s me. That’s my life. Shannon Paterson, WAHM!

Example. This is how Tuesday morning (a.k.a. Swim Day! so you’d think he’d be clamoring to get out the door) went at our house.

Kellan: What are we having?

Me: Pumpkin pancakes with peanut butter dip. Here, eat this banana while I get your dip ready.

Kellan: Mmmm! Yum! Pancakes! Wook! (Which, of course, means “look.”) I bit my banana and it looks like a face! Wook, Mommy! Wook!

Me: Uh huh. Keep eating.

Kellan: Mmm. Pancakes. I like pancakes. I like dip. (singing) La, la, la, la, la…

Me: Kellan. A little less singing, a little more chewing, please.

Kellan: Why are you having cereal?

Me: I don’t know. It just sounded good.

Kellan: Why aren’t you having a banana?

Me: I might. I have to see how hungry I am after this cereal.

Kellan: Do you like bananas?

Me: Yes. Yes, I do. Please don’t wave that pancake around. Take another bite.

Kellan: Okay. (chewing) Where’s Daddy?

Me: He’s getting ready for work.

Kellan: Oh. Um, so…so…so….

Me: Kellan, chew. Please.

(At this point, I have finished my breakfast and Kellan is still about halfway through his breakfast, with 10 minutes until preschool departure time.)

Kellan: Are you going to eat a banana?

Me: No. I think I’m full.

Kellan: Oh. Maybe you can eat it later.

Me: Yeah, I can do that. Okay, Kellan. You have about 10 minutes before you have to go. Start taking some bites. (I turn to check my email, hoping that my lack of attention will force him to start consuming the food in front of him.)

Kellan: (whispering) Mommy. I have a secret to tell you.

Me: Kellan, EAT. (I keep my back turned to him for a few more moments, which is always risky at mealtime, then decide to clear my own dishes from the table. Kellan stays relatively silent, until I return to the table to check his progress.)

Kellan: (whispering) Mommy. I have a secret for you.

Me: Good. I have secret for you. (whispering) You have about three more minutes before you have to put on your coat. Keep chewing!

So. The result of all this mealtime chattiness? I suddenly find myself holding a one-way ticket to Nagville. Eat this! Chew that! Stop talking! Eat, eat, eat! Nag, nag, nag.

For My Mommy

Love, Kellan

“She will love it.”

Now that it’s dry, he’s right. I do love it. I even hung it up in my bedroom. That’s love for you.

So while I’ve been granted this delightful opportunity to walk in my old news anchor/producer shoes, I thought it might be fun to give all of you kind of a behind-the-scenes look at Fox 12. To start things off, here are a few interesting tidbits.

Fox 12 Fun Facts:

• The walls of the newsroom (and most of the building except for the news studio) are painted turquoise, marigold and merlot.
• An anchor’s son (about 4 years old at the time) once puked on the newsroom carpet, looked up at the assignment editor and said, “It’s okay. It happens.”
• The temperature in the newsroom is extremely fickle. The vents are known for blowing out frigid air in the dead of winter, and a warm, tropical breeze in the middle of summer. Heating and cooling crews seem to visit the newsroom 2-3 times a month, at least.
• An unidentified man once entered the station through an accidentally unlocked door, wandered around, and then slipped out the back before anyone could corner him. Creepy.
• The station now has robotic cameras, eliminating the need for camera operators. They are very slim and sleek, but the camera lens is like a giant eyeball staring you down, and it’s a little eerie to watch those eyeballs rotate around to get different camera shots, seemingly of their own volition.
• In 2008, the news team created our own version of “The Office” theme song. You can find it here. Oh, and while you’re at it, look at the Fox 12 News version of “The A Team” theme song. (A few notes about our “A Team” spoof. Look closely and you’ll see the old Fox 12 set. The “Write It Down” signs are a reference to a promotion we used to do and you’ll see me posting them everywhere as a nod to a scene in “Napoleon Dynamite.” Oh, and if you look closely at the Fox 12 minivan you will see flames coming off of the Fox 12 logo. Friggin’ sweet.)

Next stop on our tour, the studio and newsroom. Here we go:

The Fox 12 newsroom. To the left, Mike Vogel (reporter/weekend anchor). To the right, Jennifer Gonzalez (9 p.m. producer).

Mike Vogel now occupies what used to be my old desk. Best location in the newsroom. Just look how much he loves it!

My temporary desk, which used to belong to my former co-worker, Dan Hamilton. I finally get to enjoy his deeeeluxe office chair. Ahhhh.

The lovely "Welcome Back, But Don't Get Too Comfortable -- You're A Temp" gift someone left for me. I think I know who.

It's so nice to work with my friend Jennifer again! And to gossip and giggle on a daily basis! But we really do work, I promise.

The Fox 12 News at Nine rundown! This is the computer program that is essentially, our "brain." We read news wires here, write our stories here, plan out the flow of the newscast, and keep tabs on who is writing/editing which stories. On this particular night, I got to write the lead story! Ah. It is good to be back.

Ladies and gentlemen...weather guy extraordinaire, Steve Liebenthal!

Here you see some of the creepy, robotic eyeball cameras I mentioned earlier.

Photojournalist Ryan Hilliard, busily editing before the evening newscasts begin.

The sound booth -- where all the voice-over magic happens.

Co-anchor Nate Kuester and I, minutes before American Idol wraps up and Fox 12 News at Nine begins.

My scripts for the newscast. They may look like random piles, but trust me -- there is a method to my paper madness here. Oh, and have I mentioned I have successfully avoided a script-shuffling papercut? Just for saying that, I'm sure I'll get one tonight.

This is what I like to call the "IFB brick" or "my little pet." It's the box that we plug our earpieces into, so we can hear the producer and/or director speaking to us from the control room. Back in the days when our anchors were not tethered to a desk (we would sit on a different set for each segment) I used to have to shove this thing in the back of my skirt or pants so I could move freely about the studio. Not comfortable.

Reporter Matt Loveless puts on his mic near the "weather wall" (the big green wall just behind him) in preparation for his slot in the 9 p.m. newscast.

A little American Idol before the newscast. Sadly, we can't really hear how this guy sounds unless Steve Liebenthal turns one of his monitors to Fox 12 and turns up the volume for us.

And finally, here's what it's all about: communication. This rug greets you upon your entry to the Fox 12 newsroom.

So there you have it! Your own personal, behind-the-scenes tour of the Fox 12 newsroom and studio. Thanks for coming along.

I hadn’t either until I came across this real estate flyer. If you look closely, stosrage is clearly listed as one of the home’s “Fabulous Features.” Hmm….stosrage doesn’t sound too fabulous to me. In fact, it sounds a little violent and a lot scary.

Come to think of it, I don’t think I’d ever buy a home with stosrage. Sorry, realtor.

What? You meant to type storage? Oh. In that case…nope. It’s still a no. Bad typos are just too scary.

So here’s what we’re doing for dinnertime this week. (Reminder: because of my temporary work arrangement, I am heading off to work around the same time most people are coming home to have dinner with their families. So my goal every night is to get dinner started for Michael and make enough so I can take leftovers to work the following night.) The key words here are SIMPLE and EASY.

Monday: Michael had the day off for President’s Day, so I let him fend for himself. He made Kellan a GardenBurger, mac and cheese (I hope it was the healthy Annie’s brand and not the yukky generic brand he bought — I’m not going to ask) and cauliflower, which Kellan reportedly ate a “ton” of.

Tuesday: Crustless Spinach and Sun Dried Tomato Quiche

Wednesday: Baked Potatoes in the slow cooker

Thursday: Black Bean Soup with Sweet Potato Cubes and fresh bread (hopefully!)

Friday: Michael and Kellan will have to fend for themselves, and/or eat leftovers.

The quiche is an easy and delicious dinner option for us. I originally found the recipe online, but have adapted it to suit our family’s taste. And because there’s no crust involved, I almost always have what I need on hand to make it.

Crustless Spinach and Sun Dried Tomato Quiche

• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1 (10 ounce) package frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained (I usually defrost it in the microwave, then squeeze out the moisture while it’s still in the package)
• 6 eggs, beaten
• 3/4 sun dried tomatoes (preferably the kind packed in oil)
• handful of feta cheese
• sea salt
• freshly ground black pepper

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a pie pan with cooking spray.
   
2. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until onions are soft. Stir in spinach and continue cooking until excess moisture has evaporated.
3. In a large bowl, combine eggs, tomatoes, feta, salt and pepper. Add spinach/onion mixture and stir to blend. Scoop into prepared pie pan.
4. Bake in preheated oven until eggs have set, about 30 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes before serving.

Now, the slow cooked baked potatoes. If you’re not doing yours this way, you’re doing it all wrong. Seriously — it is so easy and requires such little thought or maintenance! I love, love, love slow cooked baked potatoes. Here’s how to do it.

Slow Cooker Potatoes

Scrub potatoes and pierce with a fork. Wrap in aluminum foil and place in an empty slow cooker (no water is needed). Cook 8-10 hours on low, or 2 1/2 to 4 hours on high.

Seriously, that’s it! The only troubles I’ve run into with this recipe is when I crammed a very old slow cooker full of potatoes and went skiing for a day. Some of the potatoes did not cook all the way through. So if you’re really going to cram that thing full, make sure you’re letting the potatoes cook the maximum time, say, 10 hours on low or 4 hours on high. But for Michael, Kellan and I, three potatoes is all we need and we’ve never had an undercooked potato when we just make a few. Perfect every time.

As for the bean soup and bread, well, I have to find that soup recipe. I saw it it a magazine recently and I can’t remember which one. So when I track it down, I’ll try to post it as well. Oh, and the bread? My mom generously donated her bread machine to me when she switched to a gluten-free diet. So I’ll try to throw some Whole Wheat Honey Bread together Thursday afternoon as well.

Let’s hear it for a thought-out meal plan! Woo hoo! I feel so organized.

Now I’m starting to remember how I felt when I was working. Mind you, I’m only working 20 hours a week right now. So I really can’t complain because there are PLENTY of working moms who balance it all and still manage to stay sane and wear matching socks on a daily basis.

But here’s what just hit me: this week I am responsible for bringing a well-balanced and hearty snack to Kellan’s preschool class AND I have volunteered to bake something for the annual bake sale as well. I have also realized that Kellan will need a clean pair of swim trunks to wear to Swim Day at preschool, and I’m not sure where either pair is at the moment. In fact, I’m sure they are both wet and very NOT clean. So I should probably do laundry. And don’t even get me started about all the extra time I’m having to put into hairstyling lately. Usually, it’s all about the wash-and-go ‘do for me. I don’t even use a blow dryer anymore. But that routine doesn’t cut it when you have to look somewhat polished for TV every night.

Let’s face it. Working and mothering is hard. Really hard. Of course, I knew this all too well back when I was getting a steady paycheck from the station, but I quickly forgot just how tough it was once my schedule lightened up. Now, I’m hearing something in my voice that I haven’t heard in months. Rushed desperation. It’s the unmistakable urgency that tinges my words when I’m urging Kellan to put down the Duplo blocks, find his other sock and get his shoes on so Mommy can get to work on time. All the italics and bold fonts in the world could not properly convey this desperation in print. Getting a nearly three-year-old to get a move on is, without a doubt, like herding cats.

I am thrilled about my current opportunity to return to the job I loved so much. But I will be quite happy to go back to my “normal” life when it’s over. (How weird. It’s now normal for me to NOT work. Wow.) If there is one thing I’ve come to value during this whole working mom to stay-at-home mom transition, it is time. Time to breathe. Time to fold an entire load of laundry in one sitting. Time to stop what I’m doing and read books with my boy. Time to stop at the park on the way home from the grocery store just because. I know this is a luxury many working moms don’t have. Believe me, some days of stay-at-home momming have me staring the clock down, willing it to magically skip a few hours to bedtime, but I have now come to value the gift of time. It affords me something I’ve always wanted as a person, and even more so now that I am a mother: BALANCE. And for me, the proper balance right now has to be less on the work side of the scale and more on the mom side.

But for now, I gotta go find those swim trunks and do some bake sale prep before work. Let’s hope Kellan can find his socks.

Photo courtesy Karlee May

I must preface this post with an apology of sorts. I know I am a Boise native. I know I should love and adore Boise State University. After all, I was born in a hospital less than 5 minutes away from campus. This seems to be more reason than many BSU lovers have for their rabid fanaticism.

But I just don’t love Boise State. I tolerate the campus, sure. In fact, it’s good for my beloved hometown. But I just can’t bring myself to like it. And I must admit, I delight in any opportunity to poke fun at BSU. Such an opportunity presented itself when I saw the photo at left.

So let’s just take a look-see, shall we? Hmmm. Motorcycle permit required to park paralle to wall. Now THAT sounds like a pretty fancy parking maneuver. But in reality, I think someone forgot to print an L at the end of “parallel.” Whoops. I hear that typos on signs are a real problem at Boise State, so maybe they should get a sign maker who can spell. Oh wait. This is Boise State we’re talking about.

Heh heh heh.