Embarrassing. Just so embarrassing.

February 8, 2010 by Shannon

So much for grocery store greetings. Kellan has a whole new way to pass the time in grocery stores or drugstores. He makes me turn beet red from embarrassment.

Most of the time, he sings. LOUDLY. If it’s not lyrics from The Sound of Music soundtrack, he makes up his own little Happy Birthday tune to EVERYTHING he sees in the store.

“Happy birthday to cheese! Happy birthday to carts! Happy birthday to coffee! Happy birthday to hats! Happy birthday to bananas! Happy birthday to cereal! Happy birthday to ladies! Happy birthday to mustaches!”

Yes, the other day, he sang about other shopper’s facial features. Or their hair. It was impossible to make him sing more quietly — let alone make him stop — so I raced through that store like my life depended on it. I could just imagine my horror if he were to start serenading someone with a disability.

Kellan obviously has no clue what a disability is. So it is equally impossible to make him understand why he should not limp around as if he has a broken leg in public places. I have never been so embarrassed as when I had to run into a drugstore last week to buy one thing. Just one thing, so I decided not to make him ride in a cart. Boy, did I regret that when he started hobbling along like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. We walked past a line of customers eight deep, and EVERY HEAD swung around to stare at Kellan’s limping gait. I could practically see the thought bubbles over their heads: “Oh, that poor crippled child. Just look at her dragging him around like that. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.”

So I made a mental note to myself. The embarrassment of a constant Happy Birthday song is 1,000 times more tolerable than having to drag a Gollum-like child around a drugstore. Next time, we’re opting for the cart.