A very lonely toilet
August 7, 2009 by Shannon
Oh, the joy I felt when Kellan expressed interest in the potty at 18 months and actually PEED in the toilet. I immediately pictured the two of us reading potty books together everyday as Kellan happily deposited number ones and number twos. I imagined letting him pick out his own underwear. I imagined having to give away an entire box of diapers to a friend’s child. I imagined being able to say, somewhere on or around his second birthday, “Kellan? Yes, he’s potty trained. He just got interested at a young age and so he did it.”
Oh, the delusions of a first time parent.
How’s his potty progress? It’s like a case of constipation. You know it’s gonna happen sooner or later, but it just doesn’t. And the waiting is AGONY.
I mean, according to all the potty training books I blazed through about a week after that first successful pee, I did everything right. I assembled a small library of toilet-themed books, like Big Boys Use the Potty!
and A Potty for Me!
Or did I?
I think I recall making a few “uggggh” sounds when I realized Kellan missed the window to put a number two in the toilet. Maybe that’s what did it. Or maybe it’s just a case of toddler stubbornness coming through. Perhaps he gets the potty process perfectly, but just doesn’t want to do it.
This is how our conversations sound 99.9% of the time when I see Kellan pushing one into his pants (hoping I don’t notice):
Me: “Kellan, are you pooping?”
Kellan: “Noooooo. I’m NOT poopin’ Mommy.” (Immediately followed by a small uuuuhhh uh sound.)
Me: “Are you sure?”
Kellan: “Yeah.”
Me: “Then what’s that smell?”
Kellan: “That’s peanut butter in my diaper.”
Yeah, he’s still pulling the peanut butter explanation on me. It was funny the first time, and boy did it get a lot of laughs. Not so funny now. (See what I mean. Watch Momcast 3: Poopy Peanut Butter.)
So. Where are we? The only time Kellan really sits on his potty is when the lid is down and his pants are on. He rarely reads his potty books. That underwear shopping trip? Never happened. And the supply of “peanut butter” filled diapers looks endless.
So what do you think? Am I doing the right thing by letting him call the shots? Should we do a naked “potty training boot camp” in the backyard?
Comments (8)
I am absolutely the wrong person to be commenting on this post, but read a timely article yesterday on the subject! I wasn’t aware that European kids (this article talks about French kids specifically) are potty trained almost twice as fast as American kids. The author’s take on this is that it’s simply societal norms and peer pressure. This could have been a Freakonomics post, but I ran across it in TerraPass, here: http://tinyurl.com/lb5fqv
You probably don’t want the world to know this, but you were just as stubborn. It comes down to the kid has to be ready. Maybe he needs to spend some time around his cousins and watch them use the potty and see their big boy underwear. He’ll figure it out.
Oh, the stories I could tell about potty training!! I’m sorry, I have no advice…I’m still working on my 3 year old and she’s had a heck of a bad example from her older sister. So getting her to even get into the bathroom is a screaming, kicking fight! Good luck! I wish I could tell you it gets easier, I wish I could tell ME it gets easier!!
I’ve been told I have to look on the bright side though… They can’t possibly go to college without being PT! Some days I’m not so sure!!
Pele did the same thing. She started early and had me all excited, then avoided the whole subject like the plague for at least a full year before finally deciding that it would be a good thing to learn (she was about 3 when she started getting the hang of it). Now she does it flawlessly, except at night time and without much supervision. His day will come, I promise.
Lily has started to take a serious interest in potty training…i’m hoping it will last…i heard they revert back to the diaper when a new baby joins the family. Have you tried giving Kellen a treat when he goes? Lily gets to put two coins in her piggy bank when she goes #1 and 4 when she goes #2 (pennies work
) and she also gets a sticker she was posting them on her potty chart but now likes to sport them to show off that she’s gone potty? We are brand new to this adventure…so I’ll keep you posted on if these “tricks” work 
Good luck!
We are having toilet issues with my little one too - she peed once - we had a big celebration, and that was that. She screams if we even get near the bathroom. I figured I’ll give her a break and try again in a couple of weeks.
GOOD LUCK!!
Thanks for the support, everyone. We had a very peaceful toilet sit this morning, complete with lots of potty book perusal — no whining or crying! He said he was done after about 10 minutes of sitting (no #1 or #2), and I didn’t push the issue. But sure enough — guess what happened 10 minutes after leaving the bathroom!!! Big, stinky poo right in the diaper. Dang it.
I have tried the sticker route and the post-poop treat, and Kellan is a big fan of both rewards. He just doesn’t seem motivated to use the potty to get them! They’re like a bonus if he just so happens to put something in the potty! I don’t know…maybe we should try the penny idea. That’s a good one, Kelly — hadn’t heard of it.
The turning point for us was when we let Pele pick out her own “potty”. What she opted for wasn’t a potty at all but an insert you put on top of the regular toilet that’s cushy and more friendly for a little tushy. We made the trip to the store a big event and I let her pick out what she wanted. She was so excited to try it out! She’s been using the potty ever since. There was a little bit of error in the beginning, but she got the hang of it pretty quickly. I can’t believe I forgot about that! I think work must be frying my brain, or maybe it’s the Arizona sunshine! Good luck!